A Christmas Kiss (2020)

One would assume that there are multitudes of people who would be annoyed by this film's very title, especially once you've read the blurb. Unfortunately, the title is arguably the best thing about A Christmas Kiss despite the fact it has no pretensions about being anything other than a stocking filler in terms of Christmas releases; it's a straight to streaming romcom that knows exactly what it is, and what it is is a Christmas turkey that's as about as amusing as eating Christmas dinner having replaced the gravy with your own urine. Romance novelist Jennifer Monroe returns home for the first time in years to be with her family for the festive period, forgoing a planned holiday to Fiji with her idiot boyfriend because, without beating around the bush, her sister is close to dying through illness and it will be the last chance she has to spend time with her. What a lovely young woman. The success of her writing career has hinged on the love her central character has for an old flame, Mark, who unsurprisingly happens to be based on a real life ex who coincidentally lives in the same town she's travelling to for Christmas. I wonder how the film might play out? The film's foul ups are numerous, we're expected to believe Jennifer's built a successful series of books on two characters who repeatedly fall into each others arms and constantly realise how in love they are, without doing anything else at all during the several book series; but also the character of Jennifer is so much of a dolt we end up assuming that someone else has actually written these novels and she's taking the credit. It's by the numbers Christmas romance fodder for cretins, or people who self-identify as hopeless romantics, but not those who say it for a laugh- it's for those who constantly say it and then wonder why their relationships aren't Disney fairytales, or why they're still single. Well obviously, they're perfect.

Unlike this film, which although harmless and far from hateful, is simply another cartridge loaded into the commercial shotgun that fires idiot coated festive romantic bullets into the viewer's already long ago vacated brain. 2.7/10