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THE INTERNET'S MOST HONEST FILM REVIEWS. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.


Zero (2025)
Two Americans wake up in Dakar with explosive devices attached to them. Willem Dafoe is soon in their ears, telling them exactly what he wants them to do....
Aug 102 min read




Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025)
The eighth installment of the Jurassic Park franchise has nothing to say, and says it badly.
Jul 105 min read


28 Years Later (2025)
Danny Boyle's sequel is a tonally uneven and ultimately disappointing return to the infected world he helped create nearly two decades ago.
Jul 24 min read


Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning (2025)
Ethan Hunt returns for what appears to be the final time, in an insane conclusion to the series.
Jun 53 min read


Warfare (2025)
Alex Garland's astonishing portrayal of combat might be one of the purest forms of cinema put to screen.
Apr 244 min read


The Amateur (2025)
James Hawes' The Amateur does precisely what is says on the tin.
Apr 192 min read


Grand Theft Hamlet (2025)
Unleashing a performance of Hamlet within Grand Theft Auto V Online sounds like utter madness. And it is.
Feb 263 min read


Gladiator II (2024)
After nearly a quarter of a century, Ridley Scott returns to Rome for some swords and sandals action.
Nov 17, 20243 min read


The Wild Robot (2024)
After much cajoling and promises of toys and other such things, I finally persuaded my daughter to come and watch The Wild Robot with me.
Nov 3, 20242 min read


Alien: Romulus (2024)
There's a new Alien film out, that we didn't need or want. But....
Sep 8, 20243 min read


Horizon: An American Saga Part One (2024)
Kevin Costner's passion project begins (and possibly ends) with this astonishing piece of cinema.
Jul 13, 20243 min read


Bad Boys: Ride or Die (2024)
Thankfully, Michael Bay left the Bad Boys franchise after 2003's truly appalling Bad Boys II. A sequel to 1995's original seemed...
Jun 9, 20243 min read


Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
I, rather foolishly, didn't expect a Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) sequel after I walked out of a screening nine years ago. But the...
Jun 1, 20243 min read


Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
Despite the fact we didn't need another Planet of the Apes film, Kingdom adds a surprisingly decent string to the franchise's impressive bow
May 19, 20243 min read




Civil War (2024)
Alex Garland's latest film is supposedly his final bow as a director. He will be missed.
Apr 13, 20244 min read


Twister (1996)
Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised at how entertaining this was.
Mar 16, 20242 min read


Dune: Part Two (2024)
After much delay, Denis Villeneuve finally returns us to Arrakis for more majestic visuals and spectacular fight sequences.
Mar 10, 20244 min read


Virtuosity (1995)
Virtuosity squanders an interesting premise and results in something that's ultimately rather silly.
Mar 9, 20242 min read
THE MOVIES I CAN WATCH FOREVER










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