Jurassic Park: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

The fifth outing in the infamous dinosaur saga is apoplecticly dull. Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard are easily the best thing amongst CGI dinosaurs fleeing an impending volcano eruption on their island. After four films of repeatedly not stopping to think about what they should do and only what they could do, scientists have learnt no lessons whatsoever through four films. In Fallen Kingdom, for reasons that are truly baffling, the humans want to save the dinosaurs and lead them off the island to pastures new, seemingly all filing memory loss regarding the death and destruction given to man for bringing the creatures back in the first place. The ending is where Fallen Kingdom should have begun, with, surprise surprise, dinosaurs about to run riot on the mainland. The film has taken nearly two hours to get from Point A to Point A, it's utterly monotonous, and although you do find some respite in Pratt and Dallas Howard, their characters' decision making is lamentable at best. It's rubbish. 2.7/10