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THE INTERNET'S MOST HONEST FILM REVIEWS. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.
Wonderland (2003)
Val Kilmer reminds you of how good he could be as John Holmes, one of the most successful porn stars of all time.
Nov 19, 20232 min read
Blackhat (2015)
Michael Mann yet again proves his genius even if Blackhat is one of his slightly less brilliant offerings.
Nov 19, 20232 min read
Face/Off (1997)
The plot is one of the boldest and most ludicrous put to film, and it gets madder from there.
Nov 19, 20232 min read
The Man from Hong Kong (1975)
A truly mad romp, a film posing as an A-lister, this is an Ozploitation thriller that could almost be straight from the Grindhouse era.
Nov 19, 20231 min read
Alien³ (1992)
Although Alien³ isn’t even in the same league as the first two Alien films, there’s far more of note here than the film is given credit for.
Nov 19, 20231 min read
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015)
I have literally no idea what happened in this movie.
Nov 19, 20231 min read
Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)
The sixth Jurassic Park film is utterly redundant, but it is at least better than its appalling predecessor.
Nov 12, 20232 min read
A Bittersweet Life (2005)
The best way to describe Kim Jee-woon's crime thriller is Oldboy-lite.
Nov 12, 20231 min read
Q&A (1990)
Sidney Lumet is well versed in crafting corrupt cop thrillers, he's the man behind Serpico (1973) and Prince Of The City (1981).
Nov 12, 20231 min read
Faster (2010)
If you want to see what a B-movie with an (almost) A-list cast that actually knows what it is and does it rather well, Faster is your film
Nov 12, 20231 min read
Kingdom of Heaven: Director's Cut (2005)
Kingdom of Heaven is unbelievably boring, not helped by the insufferable prancing of Orlando Bloom.
Nov 11, 20231 min read
Double Jeopardy (1999)
It’s preposterous but thoroughly entertaining, not in the same league as The Fugitive, but certainly in the same mold.
Nov 11, 20232 min read
Starship Troopers (1997)
To call Starship Troopers an allegory for the Gulf War would be to almost miss the point.
Nov 11, 20232 min read
Terminator 3: The Rise of the Machines (2003)
Terminator 3 remains the best of (an admittedly not very good) the rest after Terminator and T2 in the Schwarzeneffer lead franchise.
Nov 11, 20232 min read
The Killer (2023)
David Fincher is back on form in this formulaic but hugely entertaining Hitman thriller.
Nov 11, 20233 min read
Bangkok Dangerous (2008)
Bangkok Dangerous is rubbish, but falls some way short of being absolutely terrible.
Nov 5, 20231 min read
The Northman (2022)
Robert Eggers hits his difficult third chapter after impressing us so vividly with The Witch (2015) and The Lighthouse (2019).
Nov 5, 20232 min read
Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)
Assault On Precinct 13 is one of the most aptly named films I can think of, up there with Panic Room (2002), Phone Booth (2002).
Oct 29, 20232 min read
How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
Hailed by many as Dreamworks' finest work to date; I can happily reveal that it's the their finest since Shrek 2.
Oct 29, 20231 min read
Riders of Justice (2021)
This is hands down the most I've laughed during a film in years, and that takes into account a large number of self-described comedies.
Oct 29, 20231 min read
THE MOVIES I CAN WATCH FOREVER
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